It’s been quite a while
It’s been really quiet on here hasn’t it? I wonder why I even keep the blog going and this evening I remembered the huge list of topics Beth and I have been meaning to write about! Instagram is fine for snippets of life but something stops me from getting too deep. Probably because my face is all over it!
I figured the last day of Feb on a leap year is as good a time as ever to start writing again. Mostly because even if I post the same day each year it gives some time to write the next one! I’ve recognised I need an outlet, I’m heading into my “winter” (ref Period power), so heads up guys, this could go either way!
So what’s been happening?
Over the past year work has been intense. Not just busy, but consuming. I’ve worked in two separate departments and that’s been really tough. They say it takes 6months to learn a new job and to be honest I think, as you progress up the career ladder it actually takes longer! (Not that there has been too much progression!) Both roles have been complex in different ways – good and bad. A great outcome of these changes has been the people I’ve met and who I now call friends. Nothing like intense work situations to bond people together!
The kids have been amazing over the last year, eldest is learning a trade, is such an man but still my baby (hope he reads that). Middle is constantly impressing me with her resilience, intelligence and most of all her insight into others. She’s so wise, I’m so proud of them both. The youngest is a joy! Given how much we have been though together over the last few years everyone is bearing up well! What a stroke of luck hey!!? I recognise now I should have had more faith in myself as a mum. Thanks to everyone who said that… hindsight hey?
I don’t think family life has been too easy for anyone. Living with the hormones of teenagers, co-parenting and the joys of a toddler, throw in a woman who is literally, probably, on the verge of a breakdown and that’s a nice easy life…… so I decided to donate my eggs (see insta for the stories), and I completed a Masters level programme for work. Then, because I had so much spare time, I became a school governor.
I’ve been reflecting on what helps me manage my stress. To be honest, I’m not sure anything did when times were really hard, I can’t imagine what people may have thought of me, I do love a cry.
I was fortunate to have a weekly appointment with a psychotherapist and something that has helped me overall, across my life in general was EMDR therapy. If you’ve not heard of it (Here is a link to some info ) it’s mostly used for PTSD. I will talk about it more another time but I’m definitely better at recognising things that trigger my anxiety and how to cope with it.
To be honest, I don’t feel any less stressed. It’s just different things that affect me now and in different ways. I’ve joined a netball team, still doing school governor volunteering and I’ve finally managed to learn to crochet.
I’ve been trying to focus on fun things and less on work but it’s a smoke screen for feeling a bit lost and unsure of where I’m going.
I’ve been trying to get to the gym more, trying to see friends and I’ve tried all the self-help. Scentered sent me a stress relief and sleepy aromatherapy stick which I’ve been using for a while. They smell lush, I’ve even shared them about in meetings when it’s got a bit tense! I really loved the sleep one, I shared it with Evies who has had some stress at college.
I have the Calm app and it gets me to sleep Every. Single. Time. Mostly I know I need a network around me, I’m too extrovert and self-doubting to rely on my internal thoughts, so I’ve been reaching out for help to trusted colleagues and my friends.
The future? Not sure currently , trying to be less “planny”. But I have a shed load of projects to complete and I’m throwing a huge party with friends for a special 4th birthday this year. Overall I would like to be healthier, less hungover and connected.
Watch this space.