Ok guys I am putting myself out there today. My 14 year old daughter has gone and played out in real life that American movie cliché. Only we are not in America and more importantly this isn’t a movie!
While we were away on holiday she organised and put on a party for her and her friends in our house. Apparently there were about 15 of them,boys and girls, the neighbours kept up all night by drunken kids running about and smashing glass, slamming doors and basically being little *****!
I know there are many of you who will read this and think the below, so let’s get it out of the way now……..
· Why does she have no control over her child?
· That child needs boundaries.
· Why was her daughter not with her on holiday?
· Who was supposed to be looking after her?
· Why was she unsupervised…etc!
Well I get it. I think this whole situation is karma, I was the same! My arrogance and belief in my parenting skills and in her ability to make good choices was unreal.
I thought unruly kids just needed firmer boundaries and rewarding when they did well. It’s like toddler taming really I used to think! Its even what the teachers at her current school (more on that another time) would say. To try and answer those questions before we move on please see below
· I thought I did have control. Promise.
· There are boundaries!
· She wasn’t on holiday because it is still school term and she wasn’t allowed to go.
· She was at her dads for the week
· She said she was staying at her friends
You get the jist don’t you?
The worst thing is this isn’t the first time! She also tried it before a couple of years ago but was snitched on so it never really happened. I thought she had learnt her lesson. She clearly hasn’t and neither have I.
Our home is trashed. There is broken glass in the garden which is now a danger zone for the baby. There are marks all over the new-ish sofa. Fag buts all over the windowsills. Dents in the walls, stair gate broken off the wall, marks in the paint work and door frames cracked where they were slamming doors. The floors are a mess and they have been running wild in the bedrooms. The worst thing is they have broken Marnie’s favourite toy ever. The little tykes car!
It’s like my home has been violated, it even smells different.
The neighbour behind us didn’t get off lightly. They had broken glass thrown in their garden and were kept up until 4am. They say they called the police 3 times but it seems they didn’t come. I wish they had.
One of my many (P***ed off) neighbours very kindly rounded up the trash the kids had dumped somewhere and left it on our doorstep for our return. I am mortified. I don’t even know who did it to be able to apologise for this situation. I am dreading seeing them. They blame me…. of course they do. I would!
So as I sit here at 2am writing this blog post because I can’t sleep for both anger and desperate sadness I am trying to work out what to do. The phone contract is cancelled and there will be no WiFi. Those are the obvious ones.
The reason I can’t sleep is probably because I am feeling extremely sorry for myself! Also because I don’t know what to say to her tomorrow when she comes home and I don’t know how to act. What is the right thing? Has everything so far been wrong? Or is it all something that I should think of as “normal teenage stuff”? I just want to cry but I know it won’t matter .I am worried, frightened and totally out of my depth.
What will I do when I am at work? Its times like this I really wish I could be a stay at home mum. I always knew the teenage years would be difficult. Filled with the most crazy overwhelming love and whole body consuming frustration at the same time. I said last week that if having kids has taught me one thing is if ever I get asked to provide an example of resilience I know just what to say.
I will let you all know what happens. You can subscribe to our posts for those of you who don’t want to miss out!