Let’s talk about online dating, never done it myself and I once felt a bit envious of my friends on Tinder always swiping and having a laugh about this or that. I always wanted to try a blind date too (in theory) but I won’t complain, I am a very lucky girl and I know it. I won’t go on about my love life don’t worry. I will also try not to bore you all to tears with how lonely maternity leave is! But it really really is!!!
I was never as good as Ali at picking up mums. She gained phone numbers left right and centre. Waitrose coffee shop – boom-there’s a new mum mate, fancy London fashionistas – bam- there she is again moving up the mum food chain. I just didn’t seem to have the knack. I was awkward and I always made really inappropriate jokes.
It’s not like I haven’t had my chances! Don’t get me wrong, A mum did try to pick me up in a breastfeeding clinic once. It was only day 7 post Marnie’s arrival and I was a bit of a mess, all wrapped up with latching and clicking noises. I had no idea this was how it works. I hadn’t known then that If you see a mum you like the look of then have a chat, swap numbers, make friends. Mums should be nice to mums.
After I realised I had missed the boat at the clinic i wasn’t sure where to go. Until the arrival of another little bundle of joy and that was maternity’s answer to Tinder – MUSH.
I think I downloaded MUSH because Facebook told me to. I was in a milk making, sleep deprived zombie state so was susceptible to anything. I think it said “get a life” or something along those lines. They are clever those targeted marketing people, I mean how do they read your mind! I was feeling lonely and I was bored. In my mind no one else was. My NCT tribe have been, quite frankly, my lifeline through pregnancy, early new baby days and weeks, and even now at 10 months, but I wanted something more. I needed some-mum more…..
You know what I mean, don’t you? You can imagine the scene. Someone to stroll through the summer with, Joolz pram by Bugaboo with our Selfish Mother T-Shirts and Tiba and Marl changing bags. We would sip wine in our turfed back gardens while the babes slept and the husbands would share nappy stories and the odd football joke. Maybe, in years to come we could help each other out on school runs and clubs and it goes without saying, maybe we could enjoy a night out drinking and dancing and possibly a Spa day? I mean i didn’t want to get ahead of myself (do I sound a bit intense?) but I wasn’t looking for a one playdate stand. I was looking (hoping) for some-mum a little bit special.
So here I am, Profile written and rewritten. Picture chosen and deleted several times. Profile edited again (obviously others are much more interesting ). Think I changed my picture again and then I waited.
I was waiting for someone to message me. I had a couple of hello’s. Some mums from far off lands like Portsmouth dropped me a message to say hi but the spark wasn’t really there. Until one day I saw another mum. With a baby the same age. Less than 1 mile away. This could be it (eeeek!)
What do you write?! Do I swipe left or right?! How do I make the first move? Will she like my picture? Am I funny enough? I wrote and then edited a message to say hi. I was terrified there would be no reply but I did, we even had a conversation and arranged a blind date! Turns out she lives across the road!!
The date? Well…I am not a tell all sort of Lady…….But…..To cut a long story short, I was very nervous! It made me clumsy and I talked crap constantly. I fell off the pavement with my pram into a busy road ( I can still see it so vividly it was school pick up time and I looked ridiculous) and I drove my pram into hers so we crashed into each other every few yards (playground flirting tactics I know).
I acted very badly at the tea room because they wouldn’t let us bring the babies in and were rude about letting us order. Ultimately I was my normal self, she must have thought I was mental.
What’s she like? Well, She was pretty cool. Her baby cried a lot on the walk down but Marnie made up for that on the way back. She is literally the most laid back person I think I have met. So calm and fun and generous. Takes life in her stride and that includes situations where I faff about. We have quite a bit in common and she’s mischievous which is fun. Apparently she can’t multi task so I am seeing how we go. Obviously that’s a deal breaker.
Skip forward a few months and the babes are buddies and so are we! We have had fun days out including trips to London to a baby rave in Selfridges, lots of Costco shopping and we hosted a big baby Halloween party together. There will even be a joint first birthday party for the babies in April.
I can not recommend this app enough to mums. Everyone should be handed it with their bounty pack and little red book. You don’t need a baby either just a child (but please don’t steal someone else’s).
Thank you MUSH for my new friend Amy.
If you have used MUSH did you have the same outcome? I have asked Amy to write about her side of the story, god knows what it will say, so keep an eye open for the next instalment!
This is not an advert!